Happy New Year's Eve!

I know people probably say this every year but I CAN NOT believe 2009 is already over. I’m taking a poll...are y’all going to say the year like “OhTen” or are you just going to say “ten?” I wasn’t sure how I would say...I have been having a tendency to say “OhTen,” like I’m going to be “THIN IN OHTEN!” I stole that from Jordan...ANYWAY...I just thought I would ask you all.

I almost forgot! Our trivia team won for the first time EVER last night. I will say that having 11 people there (one who is a former trivia host) helped a lot but we won!!! It was A LOT of fun.

I think we are going out tonight to celebrate the new year and I’m very excited.

I don’t usually make a resolution because it’s always lose weight and I never do...but I thought that I would make a few and really try to stick with them.

1.) Lose weight. I know...seems too simple but it is sort of an all encompassing resolution. I want to look like a different person at this time next year. I want to be healthy. I want to be happy with myself.
2.) Stop beating myself up when I have a bad day. There will be days when I screw up. I have got to stop making it such a big deal. If I screw up several days in a row...that’s one thing but if all I do is eat a few extra chips...there is NO need to go into a guilt ridden tailspin. I should be proud and as long as I stay motivated...I shouldn’t be so hard on myself.
3.) WRITE! WRITE! WRITE! That IS who I am right? I need to get my butt in gear and put my stuff out there and write some more.
4.) Be kinder. I am pretty brash.
5.) Spend more time with those that ALREADY love me and not worry about those who may or may not...I’ve got a lot going for me and I’m too old to waste my time with anybody other than the ones that are always there for me.

I hope that I can stick to these. I believe that I can. What are your resolutions? I believe that we should all make some and really devote ourselves to them and not because it’s the new year but because we could all use a little polishing in different areas of our lives.

I hope you all have a WONDERFUL & SAFE New Year and I will post the next time in 2010!!!

Incentives

Who knew that garlic hummus would be the food temptress of the day? A co-worker of mine brought pita chips and garlic hummus to work and I just had to have some. I am still on the wagon mostly today but I have cut a few corners. I think that the primary reason I am so tempted to cheat is because I haven’t been weighing in. The weekly weigh in is certainly an incentive for me to be good. I think that incentives are pretty crucial. I made the decision not to weigh for a couple more weeks because I wanted a bigger span of time (and a bigger span of my behind apparently) to lose the Christmas/New Year’s weight. The only problem is...I have no incentive to be good until then. I have done really well the past couple of days and I have certainly been getting in my physical activity but I have lost that ability to be strict. Weight Watchers and I no longer have a spark...we are past the honeymoon phase. Just like when this lull happens in a relationship...you have to find a way to reignite the fire that got you there in the first place. Where is that first love that made me lose 50 pounds? I have a few ideas. I would say that first I am getting 5 less points now than when I started. Don’t think that sounds like a lot? Well-That’s a small fry from McDonald’s, a ham & cheese on low calorie wheat bread with Baked Lays, or a grilled Chicken Sandwich from Chick-fil-a. I mean, all of those things could hold you over if you were hungry. Also, like a relationship, I’ve gotten more comfortable around Weight Watchers. I can be around it without make up on-so to speak. What I mean is, instead of weighing my 2 oz of pasta to eat last night, I sort of just...guessed. That defeats the whole purpose.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to conclude all that though...the problem that I can’t seem to solve is I don’t know where to find the motivation to keep going. I KNOW I want to lose more weight. I also know how much I love food and lounging around. There lies the crux of the struggle people have encountered in their weight loss journeys since the beginning. I think for me, I need to remember that when I am actually on the elliptical in the morning, I feel good. I feel accomplished when I get off of it or when I up the time because it’s not enough of a challenge anymore. I feel good when I go to bed knowing that I didn’t make any exceptions when choosing my food and adding my points for the day. I feel like a fat craphead when I eat like a hoss or skip exercise for the day. Somehow, these emotions still aren’t enough some days. Any suggestions for incentives? I think I lean WAY too much on cheat day as an incentive. I still want to have it but I don’t want to binge so much I’m sick on that day. I love shopping...I could buy myself a present for every month I do everything right every day but Sunday. The only problem is...I’m trying not to spend like a maniac right now...student loans and all. I will try to figure something out. I also need motivation with work and writing and other things...I get really lazy without incentives and deadlines.

I wanted to give a quick shout out to this site www.partypail.com. If you are interested in ordering party supplies from the net...use them. I ordered balloons for a baby shower at work from this site and on the order form they ask for the date of the event. After I had placed the order, a lady from the site called and because she was worried I wouldn’t get my order in time she is sending it priority without charge since my order was so light. I thought that was really cool.


Trivia tonight...AND I GET TO SEE WHITNEY, XAY & MYA!!! I’m so excited...these are my besties from way back that moved off to the east for a job and they are in town. I posted a pic of their precious little one below. I hope she remembers me! She probably won’t. Babies don’t usually like me.



Oh...and...MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY JORDAN...AND IT HASN’T EVEN BEEN 24 HOURS!

Ups & Downs

I have to say that I’m an emotional roller coaster these days. One minute I’m happy/excited and then the next minute I’m upset or frustrated. I don’t believe that you have complete control over your emotions but for the most part...you can force yourself to get a grip if you need to and that’s what I feel like I need to do...get a grip. I made two lists:

A) Things I’m happy/excited about: going to Pasadena to see Alabama play for a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP and exploring/travelling by myself, seeing Whitney tomorrow, my new, very spacious apartment, New Year’s Eve, my new headbands and purses to wear on New Year’s Eve, losing 50 pounds, having my Master’s and working towards publication, American Idol, great friends, great family...you get the picture.
B) Things I’m upset/frustrated about: totally scared to go on this huge trip alone to California, wishing Whitney & Xay could move back to Alabama, all of my new bills for my new, very spacious apartment, not living with or close to Jordan, getting older, worried I will fall off the dieting wagon, not doing enough to publish my work and beginning to pay the lifelong bills I will have from student loans...you get the picture.

I know you are supposed to take with the good with the bad...but can’t I just for once take the good with the good? I suppose I could work on being more positive. I wish that I weren’t the type of person that examined every little detail only to extract the bad parts of a situation.

Anyway-I posted some pictures below. Whenever I upload pictures on this thing...it gets them all out of order. So-below you will see a random assortment of Christmas pictures, me with a purse that looks like Santa pants, dogs in Snuggie’s and picture of my new bathroom, bedroom and living room. I hope you enjoy!

Detox.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas! I know that I did. My family got a Wii so we spent a lot of time acting like tennis and bowling pros. I have to say that if you really get into it...it IS actually very good exercise. I was skeptical at first because whether you are sitting or standing, you can do the Wii...but when I was playing tennis...I was running all over the place and I was pretty sore the whole weekend. I also got a new flat iron and some gift cards and a memory foam pillow...lots of other cool things. I have been a bit disoriented because Cassandra and I moved most of our stuff into our new apartment this weekend. It was crazy. Saturday, my parents got my whole room moved in and then yesterday Cassandra, her boyfriend and I somehow managed to get a washer, dryer, 2 couches, a king size bed and a giant TV up a flight of stairs. I have to say that last night after it was all said and done...I was miserable. I was in a FOUL mood and just wanted to be done. Jordan helped me get my bed up last night after all the other moving was done...I felt so bad for him because I couldn’t find the energy or strength to help him much. The good news is that our little apartment is starting to look livable and should be completely done by next week.

It hasn’t been the best day today morale wise. I think that I am just mostly really tired from this weekend. I didn’t exercise this morning so I felt bad about that. I have been trying to justify it because of all the work I did this weekend. I am definitely going tomorrow and Wednesday but they are closed Thursday and Friday. I think I feel so bad because I have been eating terrible the past week. It has been ridiculous. I know it’s the holidays but I also think I went a little overboard. I am trying to detox this week. There is no reason to cheat again until New Year’s Eve/Day. I am going to be perfect the next few days. I go to California the week after next and then after that...there is NO justifiable reason to cheat until I go to Paris. I just hate that I got so off track. The thing that sucks most is that eating with no rules just reminds me how much I love food so when I go back to being good...I get these trembles & DT’s like some sort of crack head. No worries though-I’m not ready to give up just yet. I have done really well and now it’s time to step up my game so in a couple of weeks, I plan on reporting more good news. I want to be down at least 65 pounds by Spring Break and I think that is TOTALLY doable. That’s only 15 pounds (roughly since I probably will have gained a couple by the next time I weigh) in over 2 months...I will have to try really hard but I think I can do it.

I didn’t remember to bring my camera cord today so I will be sure to bring it tomorrow and post some pictures of the apartment and Christmas because I know you are all dying to see them. Have a happy Monday...even though I’m sure most of us wish we were still in our Christmas jammies watching movies...I know I do.

Merry Chrismahanakwanzaka!

Yes-I am PC with your holiday (or non-holiday) of choice. I will be celebrating Christmas tonight and tomorrow and I'm very excited! As it was pointed out to me-I did not blog yesterday. I do apologize...and I will apologize in advance for the potential lag in blogging over the next few days. Yesterday, I was just too busy to remember to blog. I found out yesterday that I AM going to Pasadena to watch the Crimson Tide play Texas in the National Championship game. The opportunity was just too amazing to pass up. The ticket just sort of fell into my hands...I was in the right year, month, place and time. After that, I was able to book a flight to San Diego. I have to go all over creation to get there but I'm going! It's going to be a fun, short trip...I'm actually excited to explore California basically alone...it will be fun. I wanted to briefly say that Christmas gets washed away in the hustle and bustle and money spending. The truth is, even though my family has never been rich...they have always made Christmas an amazing time. Because of my family, I have basically always gotten what I wanted...I have traveled to 22 states and some other countries too. I wanted to thank my parents for making my life so memorable! That is what Christmas is about right? Remembering the love Jesus has shown us by his birth, life and death and spreading that love to others. I love all of my friends and family dearly.

I love you all and Merry Christmas!

Firsts

Only 3 days until Christmas! I’m excited I guess. It’s weird because I am a total humbug from October 1st to about December 20th because I don’t like all the spent money and songs and yada yada but I do enjoy the food and gift giving/receiving so...woot! Only 3 days! This Christmas is a little different because my parents don’t have a kitchen but I’m sure we will make it. I would like to formally suggest Christmas Eve pizza to my mother but I’m sure my dad won’t be down for that...and mostly...I just want pizza.

It’s been a while since I have been in a relationship and I was thinking the other day about how scared I will be when I actually get the opportunity to be involved with someone again. Part of the reason that I so thoroughly like being a single person is because I enjoy who I am without worrying that I’m offending someone. What I mean is...my mother didn’t raise me this way...but I’m pretty much the antithesis of someone who is considered “lady like.” It’s one of those things where when I start dating someone I either want them to be someone that I’m totally comfortable with (like someone who is already my friend) or I want to skip the first year so they are already aware of my quirks.

There is so much emphasis on the “firsts” in a relationship that it only adds to the pressure. For instance, I would challenge any girl to tell me that they have gone in head first into their meal on a first date. I would say that if they say that...they are flat out lying. There are these rules. You KNOW that any type of burger or giant sandwich is out, you can’t eat wings or ribs (unless you want to scare the poor boy half to death). You really don’t want to eat salad either because there are usually onions involved. You don’t want to drink too much or too little. Usually the best option involves a grilled chicken breast. Even after you go through the stress of deciding WHAT to eat...then there is the decision of the “leave.” If you’re like me, you tend to eat EVERY bite on your plate and if no one is looking...you might even use a roll to get any excess that you left. Clearly, you can’t do this on a date. You end up starving half to death because you leave with only half of your food gone. I’d like to say, as a part of the female race, that we are above all of this silliness...but we aren’t. It takes a long time to be totally comfortable eating like a normal human being around a guy you like.

One of the other questions would be: “When do you finally let the bodily functions out of the gate?” I’m pretty sure this is different for every person. I know someone from work who has never heard his wife burp or fart or seen her use the bathroom. Forgive me for the word “fart” here...I realize it’s not the most poetic word in the world but...it is what it is. Then there are those that aren’t so prudish. I don’t mean prudish in a bad way here because to each their own...but if I married someone who didn’t believe that girls had gas...I wouldn’t be true to myself. I would say cracking one at the table on your first date may be a bit TOO comfortable but if you can tell the relationship is getting serious...you could stop making your stomach go into fits of pain because you aren’t releasing anything and let ‘er rip and just see what happens. There is one thing I can almost guarantee though...the guy in the relationship will almost definitely be the one to break the ice in this department.

The last “first” that I will mention would be the first fight. I have heard it said that whatever your first fight is about will be the main fight that you have throughout the entire relationship. So-if your first fight is about jealousy or money...that may just be what you yell at each other about for the duration. So-if you are fighting about him cheating on you after the first week or two...you may want to rethink things. I would say this was completely true about my last relationship. Boy, if I knew then...I probably still would have made the same mistakes. I think it’s so funny how every new couple walks on eggshells trying to avoid an argument and then it’s like the dam just completely collapses.

There are so many things to think and worry about. Ugh. Luckily, in my current stagnant state, I am not in a position to worry about all that. I don’t know what made me think about all these things. It was probably one of those moments when I thought I wanted to be in a relationship and then I remembered all the crap that comes with it. I guess if you find the right person (blah, blah, blah) then it’s worth it. We will see.

Tomorrow is trivia night and Christmas Eve Eve so it should be a good day. We will also get the keys to our new apartment which means moving is looming. EEK!

Hawngry.

As I predicted, I've had a hard time dieting today due to all the food I had this weekend. It included but was not limited to: Chick-fil-a, McDonald's, fried cheddar balls (ask me about these sometime), chicken wings (with ranch, thus making the title of my blog a dirty lie), cheese cake and fudge pie. So-there was no holding back. I know it's the holidays but EVERY part of me today wants to completely cave and be bad until January 2nd. What good would that do me? I would gain weight and risk not getting back on track. So...NO! I will move forward and prosper. I will be good this week up until the weekend and then I will be good again until New Years Eve/Day. I have NO excuses. I have lost 50 pounds and even if I gain a little I have to get right back on bandwagon. I also have to give myself these little pep talks from time to time.

I'm excited about Christmas and the 3 day weekend. I know this week will last forever but then it will be fun to sit around in my pajamas for a day and open gifts, eat and play Wii. I had a very nice time in Chattanooga with my family and I know this weekend with my Mom, Dad and Oma will be no different.

This past weekend we had our Tacky Christmas party and we had a blast! We dressed up and had good snacks and games. We had a lot of fun. I posted a couple of pictures below.

CELEBRATE GOOD TIMES COME ON!!!

If I knew how to include confetti on this thing, I totally would. Unfortunately, I don't. I went to weigh in this morning and guess what?! I lost .4 bringing me to a grand total of 50.2!!! I finally made it. I am celebrating-don't get me wrong-but if you know me...I immediately brought it to a non-celebratory level. While I am excited...I only left room to gain .2 pounds over the next couple of weeks. I looked at my calendar and I will be going at full diet speed only half the time during the break. I would not be surprised if I fluctuate a bit and have to reach the 50 pound mark once more in January but I am overall very pleased with what I've done. I have hit a slump the past few weeks. I went from not losing less than a pound every week for 6 months to gaining or staying the same or only losing .4 so I'm trying to adjust. I am making some changes so I plan to pick back up soon. Also, I'm glad I didn't weigh in AFTER my Christmas lunch at work because, phew, I ate too much. It is Christmas right?

Another cool thing I wanted to mention was in reference to my Wednesday blog. In that post, I mentioned Greg Staffa, the man who lost his job/home for being overweight. He somehow found the blog and very graciously commented on it. I thought that was so cool...so thanks Greg for making me national...lol!!! How about a trade...you tell people about my blog and I will keep spreading the word for you... Greg's website is www.becauseimfat.com and if you are able, get on there and read all about him and possibly help him.

Ok-I think that is all for today. I am going to Chattanooga this weekend to see my family. I'm going to try not to eat too too much but you know what happens when you let a wild animal out of her cage. I posted a "before" picture of myself below...and yes I picked an awesomely horrible picture on purpose. It's one that I took right before I started Weight Watchers...then I posted 3 "down 50 pics" below it so you can see the difference...forgive the poses...I was being kind of silly! I hope everyone has an AMAZING weekend and I spread love to you...really...I do!

I may be fat but I'm not lazy! (mostly)

I have decided the term “hump day” disturbs me. There are a lot of people that pretty much call attention to “hump day” every Wednesday and frankly, it’s a little strange to me. I mean...I get the purpose...it’s the middle of the week but to me...if it isn’t Saturday or Sunday or an off day...they are all the same. Plus-it’s kind of dirty. I do have a dirty mind but I would say that most people with an understanding of the English language can determine why I would interpret that phrase in a dirty way. I mean, call it what you want...I don’t care.

Anyway-Happy...Wednesday! Today has a much slower pace than the two previous days. It is kind of a welcome relief but at the same time...the hustle and bustle makes the day go by faster. No worries-I know the next few weeks will prove to be very busy. Tonight I am going to the thrift store with my roommates to look for Christmas gear for our party Friday night and then off to trivia. Tomorrow night-I am going to my Dad’s work Christmas party and we need to clean up and decorate the house. Friday night is our “tacky” Christmas party. We are all going to be looking for awesomely tacky Christmas sweaters...it should be fun...we always have fun even if it is just the four of us. Saturday and Sunday I am going to Chattanooga to celebrate the holidays with my family. Phew-then the next week is Christmas of course! I’m sure that I will be very strict on Weight Watchers the whole time. I hope you noted the sarcasm in my voice. The truth is that I have been good this week and plan on being good until I weigh on Friday morning and then I will let loose this weekend but I am going to try REALLY hard not to go overboard...then get right back on track Monday and stay that way until I can cheat again on Christmas Eve/Day.

I hope you enjoyed that rundown of my calendar for the next couple of weeks. I am also pretty excited about all of the bowl games. This time of year is very bittersweet because I love watching all the football but I know that in just a few weeks...I will be college football-less for quite some time.

I was going to tell you guys about this story I read this morning. I am going to attempt to post the link here but every time I include a link on my blog-it doesn’t work so if it doesn’t-the article is called “My Big Fat Foreclosure,” by Charles Feldman off of the Housing Watch website. http://www.housingwatch.com/2009/12/14/minn-man-says-fat-chance-hell-keep-his-house-claims-hes-losing/?icid=main|main|dl2|link1|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.housingwatch.com%2F2009%2F12%2F14%2Fminn-man-says-fat-chance-hell-keep-his-house-claims-hes-losing%2F

It is about a guy named Greg Staffa who is being forced to leave his townhome because his boss blamed his work-related injuries on his weight...so he lost his job. Now, I don’t really know the basis of this situation. He looks like a tall guy, and yes, he is overweight, and yes, every time I go to the doctor it seems like everything that has ever been wrong with me is caused by fatness. It can be anything really. I guess it just highlights the fact that fat people are discriminated against. In this society, people who are fat are deemed lazy. It’s just the truth. There are a lot of things I can be accused of but being lazy isn’t one of them. Now, I have lazy moments and before 6 months ago I was certainly physically lazy but I didn’t get a B.A., M.F.A. & decent job from being lazy. I think there are reasons that people gain weight...mostly...it is due to inactivity but that doesn’t necessarily mean that people don’t get their work done. It has been shown statistically that people who are overweight have a much worse chance of landing a job in an interview than someone who isn’t fat. I have actually heard someone say that before.

Just keep in mind that just because I have bigger thighs than you doesn’t mean I’m a bad worker...I know plenty of lazy, stupid skinny people.

Also-GOOD LUCK NICHOLE! You show that GRE who is boss!

I am SO absent minded!

I totally forgot about blogging. I promise I will get back to normal tomorrow. It was another crazy day at work. Cassandra and I looked for an apartment again at lunch and I think we found one but until I sign the lease and get a move in day...I'm not putting it in writing yet. The place is really nice so hopefully in a couple of weeks that will be our new home!

I knew that I wanted to mention one thing. On yesterday's blog,Heather(my mom's co-worker-"the other Heather") suggested that I quit cheat day to speed up my progress. Um, while this suggestion is probably right on point...I just don't see that happening...lol. I LIVE for cheat day. I will say that the thought of only having one cheat meal instead of a whole day has crossed my mind but it crossed it and then kept on going. I am going to see if this 5 minute/day exercise boost helps before I do anything drastic. I think I have become addicted to cheat day which is really not a good thing. I usually make myself sick...but I didn't Sunday. I ate way too much...don't get me wrong...but I didn't eat so much that I woke up in the middle of the night about to throw up.

So-I did consider that suggestion Heather...haha...maybe one day I will actually take your good advice but I'm sure my mother has told you that I'm stubborn. If she hasn't, I'm sure you know that she is stubborn so just know that I get it from her! :)

Remember Me?

I know...it’s been a long time since I last blogged. It was a CRAZY week last week. I had jury duty. It lasted all day. There were two days where we didn’t get any lunch and stayed until almost 6. Luckily, I have to go like half a day on Thursday and then I’m completely done. *KNOCK ON WOOD!* Anyway, when I wasn’t at jury duty, I was at work and when I wasn’t at work I was finding a new place to live. On top of that...work is incredibly busy these days. So, needless to say, I didn’t have time to blog.

As you read above, I am looking for a place to live. Jordan is moving to Birmingham and we gotta get the heck out of our icky, big house. Me and Cassandra lived together before so the two of us are apartment hunting. Even though our current house might be giving us black lung, it is quite cheap. We have re-discovered the expenses of moving. Oh well, I guess I will move pretty much every year until I buy a house for myself and with money being so tight and student loans looming...the chances of me being able to juggle a house payment anytime soon are not very good.

So-The Saturday before last, I had weighed and was down 49.8 pounds. I have been waiting for weeks to lose 50 so I could put a new picture up and celebrate the accomplishment. I just KNEW that when I weighed in the day before yesterday that I had that .2 of a pound in the bag. I even wore a skirt in 40 degree weather so I wouldn’t have pants weighing me down. I step up on the scale and with a dejected look on her face, the weigh-in lady told me I was the same. I had lost no weight. I mean...SERIOUSLY! I couldn’t have lost .2?!?!?! I was VERY disappointed. I know I shouldn’t complain because I didn’t gain and I have done great but I had my hopes up. I know that I will face plateaus and ups and downs, especially during the holidays, but it feels like everything is in slow motion right now. I decided that I would bump up the elliptical routine and go 35 minutes instead of 30 and I will be VERY strict this week so when Friday rolls around (I’m weighing Friday instead of Saturday because I am going to Chattanooga this weekend to see my family) I will get rid of that .2. I am hoping to really get out of this slump after the first couple weeks in January so I can look and feel even better by March when it’s time to go to Paris!

You may have heard that Mark Ingram won the Heisman Trophy. It was such an honor and treat to watch him (on TV of course) accept the award. It was Alabama’s first and I was so proud! I want to go to Pasadena so badly to cheer Alabama to their 13th National Championship but my chances are dwindling more and more each day. I will watch it from TV as if I’m there though.

Jury Duty

Oh...and by the way...it's jury duty week again so the blogs may be less frequent the next few days. I will do my best to keep up but if there are any breaks...I have to head to work. Have a good week everyone!

Bama is headed to Pasadena!

That's right...Bama took care of Florida NO PROBLEM to win the 2009 SEC Championship Game!!! It was so awesome. We are going to face Texas in January for our 13th National Title! I feel like it's our year and I hope I'm right! I am down a total of 49.8 Pounds so I'm hoping I can get that stinking .2 pounds off for a total of 50 next week. If that's the case...I will post a new picture next week! I am moving at a snail's pace right now but that's OK...it's the holiday season and I will get through it! Congrats again Bama!

You're a mean one Mr. Grinch!

It has been quite a week. I would say it has been one of those weeks that you would like to put in a vault somewhere never to be thought of again. You know, I was reading the lyrics to “You’re a mean one Mr. Grinch” and sometimes, I feel like those lyrics suit me just fine. I’m not really the type to relish in the Christmas spirit (though I did post a picture of my office decorations below). For the most part, I don’t like Christmas music. I do enjoy the actual day. There is something really rewarding about watching people open presents. I do take care in the gifts I purchase and I enjoy the family time. My only problem is the 3 months everyone spends preparing for the holiday.

I think my bad attitude spreads itself year round. Some of the lyrics of the song that I think fit me: “You’re as charming as an eel...you’ve got garlic in your soul...you have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile...you’re the king of sinful sots...” Those are just a few examples and this week I do feel as though my soul is a mangled knot of rubbish.

I know all of these things sound harsh but I think I might be misunderstood. There are primary differences between the Grinch and I. First, my hygiene is far better than his. I don’t smell like a “nasty, wasty skunk” and I try to keep things out of my teeth. I would say that the biggest difference between myself and the Grinch is that I’m not mean SPIRITED. The other day at trivia, the hostess gave us the same speech she does every week about sitting at the back table. The problem is...when you sit at the back table...you can’t hear. In weeks past, I have given her all kinds of attitude and it took awhile to achieve my ultimate goal. This week, I tried to be polite and she was much more helpful. I realize the connection between civility and production there but you don’t know how hard that was for me. I come by anger & anxiety issues naturally. The point is...I’m not intentionally mean. I have this trigger that prevents me from being anything but blatantly honest. I have some control in some areas but others...not so much. I also know that I’m not mean spirited because as soon as I do say something mean...I feel guilty. I think my mother knows this because her guilt trips usually send me into a 3 step denial, anger, and then apologetic whirlwind that drives me crazy. Also, if you will remember in the end, the Grinch’s heart grows 3 times its size. See-I think mine does this in shifts...my heart shrinks when I’m being mean and then immediately grows after that...usually when it’s too late.

I know that I have yammered on about my anger before and I have also promised I’m working on it...which I am...but I suppose I could work harder. Despite what I have said, I am TRYING to get in the Christmas spirit. I decorated my cubicle, bought Secret Santa & Dirty Santa presents for work and I am actually about 70% with all of my shopping...so...I will get better. Also, I sense professional help in my future...these rants can only last so long before people stop reading.




Wish me luck for the weigh in tomorrow...I’m hoping to get rid of the pound I gained and then some!

As I’m sure you know by now...THE SEC CHAMPIONSHIP GAME IS TOMORROW!!! If you don’t have any team affiliations between Alabama and Florida...would you please say a little non-sac-religious prayer for Alabama. It’s their time! I can feel it! ROLL TIDE!!!!!

It's OK to be childish sometimes!

I am feeling a bit less cranky today. I’m not sure why, I got no sleep last night but my spirits are up a little bit. Our trivia team made a pretty poor showing last night but it was fun anyway. I consider this all practice because when they start a new cycle of trivia...I want to be ready. They go through a several month period and keep up with your scores and then have a semi-state qualifier and then a state championship. It’s a pretty nerdy and fierce competition and next year...I want to win. Since we sucked so bad in 2009, we didn’t even come close to qualifying for anything so I am pulling for RMFT to win the state championship!

I pretty much do the same thing for exercise every day. I get up and go to the gym and work out on the elliptical. You may find this shocking, but there are times when this becomes a bit monotonous. If our workouts get too mundane, sometimes we quit because they aren’t maintaining our interest any longer. I know that this happens to me. When I feel like I can no longer stand physical activity that is confined to a machine, I will use one of my non-exercise days on a weekend and access my inner child. Doing things outside that you did as a kid not only burns calories, but you have a fun time and I guarantee you will be sore the next day.

I will give you a few ideas that I’ve tried.

First, you can play catch. My brother and I go out in the front yard from time to time and throw the football. He throws it way too hard but I work out my arms and it’s great cardio because I’m running all over the place when I don’t catch it. You can also play catch with baseballs or have a one on one basketball game. Any backyard sport is fun...especially in this crisp weather. Don’t worry about it if you are terrible either...that’s not the point. Cassandra and I used to go and try to play tennis. We were terrible. We missed all the time, had the most embarrassing thrift store racquets and cheap balls, and we annoyed the crap out of the people next to us because we kept hitting balls on their court...but we had a lot of fun and it was great exercise. The point is to either try new outdoor sports you never played or go back to sports you used to play as a child.

The second idea is more for the summer but has a similar affect. You need to go to Wal-Mart, swing by the grocery side and buy some Dawn Liquid Dishwashing Soap, then head over to the toys and buy a Slip-N-Slide. You will probably need to do this in the backyard with people you are very comfortable with because if you’re like me...the thought of someone seeing you leap into the air in a bathing suit and landing hard on the ground isn’t exactly comforting. My big ‘ol butt got out there and did this with my family a while back and I was so terrible at it. I would take a running start and as soon as I got to it, I would just fall on my knees and land like a lead balloon. It was so funny and fun rolling around a soapy, plastic tarp and I felt like I had done 50 squats the next day.

The last idea is rolling down a hill. I posted a picture of me doing this a couple years ago. You need to find a nice, tall hill (preferably one not close to a road), lay down and just GO! The workout doesn’t come from the ground destroying your rib cage or the grass digging at your pants or the sticks poking you in the eye...it comes from the trek back up the hill a thousand times because it’s so much fun. I loved it! Actually, I kind of want to do it now...oh well.



I think you catch my drift. Exercise sucks. This is something I truly believe. If couch sitting were an Olympic sport, I would be a gold medal winner (don’t write that down...I’m not sure but I don’t think I made that up). There are things however that you do from time to time to shake it up a little...just give them a shot.

2 more days until the SEC Championship! I’m so excited. Feel better Jordan!!!

Guess which reindeer I am!

Today was another fanFREAKINGtastic day. My flip flop broke at work, when I went to eat my apple for breakfast this morning...it was rotten, the overall mood at work sucks right now, we got mold and water all over our house and a landlord that doesn’t deem it necessary to call before he comes over, and quite frankly, I don’t FEEL like being in a good mood. I’m glad tonight is trivia night...so I can have fun and hopefully not stress myself out. I’m hoping the same for those that are with me because I am NOT the only one dealing with crappy stress.

I’m not sure if I have ever mentioned this before but I get these red splotches sometimes. I think they are related to stress and/or anxiety but they come up on my face. Most of the time, they are red spots that come up around my mouth and they usually go away within an hour. It’s the weirdest thing...it’s kind of like when you are about to get a pimple and the area turns red and then BAM there it is...I get that except I never get the pimple...which for that I guess I should be grateful. I recently realized that these spots sometimes appear (in giant form) on the tip of my nose. This first occurred right before I gave my graduate reading. Well, it happened again today. Somehow this abomination passed through the eyes of my mother and two people at work who I had significant conversation with and no one told me. Now, in their defense, they know of my nervous weird splotches so I think they were just trying to ignore it but for the record if you see my nose looking the way it does in the picture below...please alert me...I would like to at least place my finger subtly over the top.



I should also say that the picture doesn’t do the spot justice. When I get them...they almost...glow (like a light bulb!) Anywho...I suppose I can make light of all these ridiculous things and that will make me feel better.

One last thing (because I don’t feel like a long blog today)...I’m taking a poll. My Dad acquired an SEC Championship ticket for this weekend. He was in the hospital a couple of days and I just don’t think that a 3 day grace period is enough. I think he needs to rest at least a week and give his ticket to me. I would be doing him a favor really because I would be helping him stay healthy and not letting that ticket go to waste. I’m mostly kidding. I know if I had a ticket it would take swine flu and limb loss to get me to miss it. I hope you have fun Dad.

Maybe there won’t be too many teams there tonight at trivia so we will have a chance! Fingers crossed!

I think I'll go eat worms...or buy a computer.

I can’t believe it’s already December. It seems like just yesterday that it was 1996. I mean seriously...where did the time go? I’m very reflective today...my Dad is in the hospital. Don’t worry...I think he is OK but he had a problem with shortness of breath and they kept him to be cautious...they are going to look at his heart. It hasn’t been the best day at work. I won’t share all the details but you know...it’s just one of those blech days that makes you thankful for your friends and family but in a bad mood all the same. If everything happened the way I wanted it to...the world would be a better place. Just kidding.

You can tell it’s not a good day because I had a minor meltdown over the fact that I was out of fiber bars to eat for breakfast. I had to eat a Special K bar. The Target brand fiber-granola bar thingys are really good, and pretty big for a bar and packed with fiber for only 2 points. The Special K ones taste OK...they are two points also but I swear they are have the size and have no fiber. I had to tell myself to calm down. I think it will be the small things today that make me fly off the handle.

I wanted to take a break to tell you my new infatuation/relationship...

I introduce to you...the Mac Air:



You know, I am pretty ashamed of myself because I have always been pretty opposed to the Mac’s. I still hate them because they don’t have Windows or Microsoft Office compatibility but you CAN run Windows on them and add Office to them. I know, I know if I’m going to do ALL that...why not just get a PC...well...I mean look at it...it’s pretty. I think the best argument against it for me right now is that it is WAY too expensive...but Best Buy does offer payment plans. The truth is that now that I am not in school, I could probably wait on a new computer but I am itching for something new and shiny. Even though Christmas doesn’t seem like the best time to buy myself a huge gift, the sales are pretty good. Also, if I DID get on a payment plan now, I think I could pay it off by the time I have to start paying off my student loans. I know that I can explore other options and I will but it’s hard for me to settle after I fall in love. I have looked at Dell and Sony but I’m still not sure. Does anyone have any raving recommendations based off of their experience? I need to be talked out of this big purchase I think...at least for the time being.

I have other expenses to worry about. I added up all of my student loans yesterday and I seriously almost vomited. I mean...I knew the ballpark estimate but to see it in one solid number pretty much took my breath away. Basically, because I had to pay for a year and a half of undergrad and all of graduate school with loans, I essentially bought a house. So-for the next 20-30 years...I will be paying for school...I hope it pays off. I’m sure my best-selling novel is on the tips of my fingers. I will sit down every night and place all of my fingers on the appropriate keys and wait for the next Harry Potter-esque series to bleed onto the word processor.

I know I’m not the only one suffering with loans but I think I can speak for everyone who owes a ridiculous amount of money to the federal government that when you do have loans...it sure feels lonely.

Didn’t mean to bring you down...because I really am fine! I hope everybody else out there having a bad day cheers up and has a turnaround.